SCREWED...

I'm floating... Floating on a wave of euphoria... How long it will last, i have no idea... I'm always given to rational thinking but right now, i say fuck that... I'm just going to ride along carefree on this tornado and see where it takes me. If i land hard on my bottom, too bad. I do know for sure that this wasn't a mistake and whatever happens, i will not regret it because i'm having the time of my life. I know, i know, i'm given to bouts of melodrama and making mountains out of mole-hills but a girl is allowed to dream, isn't she? It's rare to find someone who's on the same page as you. Someone you do not have to explain things to before they understand...
I had stuff in my head to write on here today but Mr Man just blew all my intelligent thoughts to hell and beyond and i sit here with nothing... Absolutely nothing... All i have in my head now is feeling... All i can do now is feel... I can't complain... I am a woman, just a woman and if i complain about being that, i might as well just pack it up and head up to Timbuktu (where the hell is that by the way?) but i don't see myself anywhere except where i am right now. I'm sitting here with a silly smile on my face watching him sleep and wondering how i got so lucky to have found someone like him, I don't want this feeling to go away. I hope it doesn't go away... I haven't been this happy in awhile and thankfully, i don't have to be afraid to be happy with him. What happens tomorrow, i have no idea. The only thing i can do is live for the moment and take it as it comes... It's been what? 4days since we arrived here and some may argue that it's too short a time to be this exhilarated but i say screw you, i'm happy... He makes me happy and believe me it's not the cautious kind of happy that i feel with The Brit. It's the ''no holds barred, let it all out'' kind of happy that i used to feel with The Brit... The funny thing is that he's the exact opposite of what i usually go for meaning, the exact opposite of The Brit. He's not that tall, he's light skinned, he's crazy, he talks a lot and he just doesn't care what anyone will say... My usual kind will be taller than i am, dark-skinned, calm, quiet, reserved and would care... But not him... Why am i with him? Damn if i know but i do know this, i don't want it to end... I know that i can never be bored with him... What girl would be? Definitely not me... Though, i'm not in love with him or anything like that but i'm thinking it's only a matter of time before that happens... I do not fall that easily because i'm too cautious but now, i'm throwing caution to the wind and plunging all the way in.
This morning when i went to see some friends, they told me my blog was too explicit or whatever. I say or whatever because i don't want to use the exact words they used... It annoys me... Once upon a time when Candace Bushnell started writing ''sex and the city'', more than a few eyebrows were raised (no, i'm not trying to compare myself to her... she's fantastic and way out of my league... i'm just saying) but today, everyone has seen the series and the movie made out of her columns and a lot of people are looking for her old articles, myself inclusive... They said something about too much sex in my blog... Too much sex? It's not like i have sex everyday (even though i wish i do) and i certainly am not a slut (even if some think i am and i've called myself that a few times in annoyance) but i didn't want to find myself in the spot i did last year... Pills in hand with no guts to take them... Crying everyday because i had no one to talk to... Depressed out of my mind and being prescibed happy pills... Blood pressure way too low... Nobody except me knew how i felt and i got tired of writing a diary because people steal it to read behind my back. I decided to write the diary out here so there'll be no reason for anyone to steal it because believe it or not, i have a very interesting life. Like i wrote on facebook, whoever finds this offensive should simply stop reading. You weren't forced to read it in the first place and if you think i'm revealing too much, your bloody business.
That said, i think i'm going to have to wake Mr Man up with a kiss...
XXXX
Bee