NONSENSICAL NONSENSE...

I have no idea how to start writing this but i'm seriously in need of some advice here... I have no sense of what a relationship should be like and believe me, i have tried to find out with no luck whatsoever... This crazy thought is in my head that if i don't learn how to be in a relationship, i will end up being alone for the rest of my life has taken root and wouldn't go away try as i have to shake my head in an attempt to clear it out... I am terrified of a life in void... What sort of personal life will i have if i were alone? Will i have to keep calling my siblings to tell them of my failures and successes and whatever else i feel the need to share? My friends and siblings have their own lives and i'm secondary which doesn't surprise me... They figured that by now i'd have the partner i always wanted to have (i'm not crazy about marriage) and would've settled now to a life of normalcy of some sort. I keep disappointing myself everyday and to compound issues, i now have this funny thing going on with Mr Man that i can't quite put a name to...
It seems to me like this relationship is coming to an end and i have no idea what to do... I have this pain in my chest that comes everytime i try to walk away from something that makes me happy... You know that feeling you get in your chest when you are close to tears, that's how i feel now and just so i don't bawl over my computer, i will have to stop writing... This will officially be my shortest relationship ever!!! It only lasted a week... Oh my God...
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Bee