BOYFRIENDS...

Last night was one of those nights that just make you go arghhhhhhhhhhhhh..... I'd been working on jewellery all day and kept getting all these calls that i just decided to ignore because i had nothing to say to these people... Had this great idea to write on boyfriends and the categories they fall into when i decided to lie down for a bit because i was tired... I did lie down but the next time i opened my eyes, it was 5am this morning... Dang.
I'm going to write it anyways... The boyfriend list... I've had some of these and i'm sure many women has had some or all of these as well... Here goes...
THE ''SUGAR RAY'' BOYFRIEND... You know those really sexy guys dressed to the nines and sixes who seem to know all the moves? They come on really strongly and treat you like you're the only one they can see at that point. Very attentive, very romantic, very caring and all the while plotting and calculating how to get their hands on your hard earned naira. They never seem to have any money whenever you go out so you end up paying the bills... Then they ask you to loan them money they'll never pay back. I've had a few of these kind of assholes.
THE ''PLAYER'' BOYFRIEND... I dated a guy for a few weeks sometime last year. I met him in-between relationships and on the day we had sex, i felt like the earth shook. It probably did. It vibrated when he told me he had 5 girlfriends... I asked if i was among the 5 but he said no. Believe me, if he had added me at that point, i would've been very pissed. Tried sticking with him while hoping for the best but the problem is, with someone like this you shouldn't even bother. I didn't know at the time but now i do... Never considered the time i spent with him a waste though because it was really good after i decided to make him my sex buddy. He hated the label but who cares? We both get what we want from each other. Too bad we stopped seeing each other. It's was nice for a while at least.
THE ''SEX BUDDY'' BOYFRIEND... The moment you walk into his house or he walks into yours, you start ogling each other. Granted, there's an attempt at conversation so the act doesn't seem mechanical but the fact is, you both know what the meeting is about. It's mainly for sex. Try hanging out with each other when it has nothing to do with sex and you'll almost bore each other senseless. Only way to do this is just not bother pretending it's anything more than it is. Why, there's nothing wrong with sex. One of my old friends (God rest his soul) actually thought it was the greatest thing God created. Tried telling him otherwise and he refused to listen. This is the kind to enjoy while it lasts. Also to keep for when a girl is in-between relationships...
THE ''FUN'' BOYFRIEND... Want to go out and don't exactly want to do this alone? This is your man... He's great at situations that involve ''mind-altering liquids'', dance, people and anything that's generally loud. He mostly sucks in bed because he's either too drunk or whatever but you don't really care anyway because if you want great sex, there's always the sex buddy. This is just the fun guy who fancies himself your boyfriend but you know otherwise, don't you? wink
THE ''INTELLECTUAL'' BOYFRIEND... I once dated a guy i never got bored talking to... He was so intelligent, i sometimes feel like i'm just a dull flower. He was a mobile dictionary, my personal google and ask jeeves. He knew everything and anything... All i had to do was ask him. It was a long-distance relationship for a while and we used to have these hours long conversations on the phone, lenghty e-mails and everything in between and i really really liked him. When he brought up talk of forever, i didn't bat an eyelid because i figured anyone as passionate on conversations as he was, will ultimately be passionate in bed. How wrong i was. My guy decided to move to Nigeria and i was full of anticipation. I probably had too much expectations, who knows? He fell completely flat in bed. We may say that whole ''size doesn't matter'' shit but it really does matter in the end, you know... He was small, took less than a minute to climax and then asks afterwards if i enjoyed it... Need i say more?
THE ''CASH COW'' BOYFRIEND... The very common Lagos king of boyfriend mostly had by lazy girls who do not like working and sometimes by working girls who are just plain tired. Mostly married and come to you with material things... Trying to make up for not being able to go out with you or being able to do what a real boyfriend ought to do... They'll spoil you silly and make you feel like a princess. Sometimes old, sometimes really young but really the same... Cash is the ruler of their universe and if you want to be a part of it, you should play the part to get to get the cash. The rules are pretty simple. Give me your time and i'll give you some of my cash.
THE ''I WISH YOU COULD BE MINE'' BOYFRIEND... From all my previous stories, it's clear that i have this kind... This kind of boyfriend doesn't really need to be decsribed, the name says it all.....
THE ''BOYFRIEND'' BOYFRIEND... I knew some girls who have this kind and believe me, they are very lucky. This is the kind of boyfriend i'm looking for. The one you want to be seen everywhere with, whom you have no qualms introducing to your friends and family, who you fall in love with, who you like waking up next to everyday, who makes you dream of forever... I really cannot elaborate on this because i'll just end up with a fierce hunger in my heart...

Now, a lot of us girls have or have had all these useless kinds of boyfriends... I figure it's like they say that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you kiss the one that's to become your prince. Honestly, this whole frog kissing business is tiring...
XXXX
Bee