IT'S SO HARD

Had no idea when i decided to quit smoking a couple of days ago that it'll be so hard... My bravado didn't even last 24hours before i lit up. Found that i was hungry and wanted to nibble on everything chewable i saw. After i had eaten like five times (which was a first for me), i decided the way to go would probably be to wean myself from ciggies. Bought a pack as opposed to the 5packs or 1roll i'd usually buy and just decided to go slow... Just made myself a few rules and so far, i've kept them. I decided i would no longer smoke in public... That's a start... Next step is to stop smoking in my house and so on. The plan is to make myself as uncomfortable as possible to help me stop... I really hope this plan will work...
Relationship wise, i've been having issues and sorting them out then having issues and so on... Everyone wants to talk but no one wants to listen. I got so fed up with the whole thing that i just shut my mouth, got drunk and went to sleep at 9pm yesterday. Woke up a few minutes after 4am this morning and could no longer sleep. Instead of just sitting there, i decided to do something constructive with my time and that led to my making jewellery until about 3pm when i decided to go to the salon to make my hair. My hair was a mess, it looked liike it belonged on the head of a child suffering from malnutrition (At least, that's what my sister said). It looked really bad... I's previously tried to change it from brown to honey blonde but the dye job went horribly wrong and i ended up looking like an Albino... Albeit a black one, an Albino all the same. Finally dyed it black today and praying and hoping that my hair grows asap so i can cut the dyed part off because the dye thingy has damaged my hair.
That said, the news to share now is the most recent ex called me yesterday afternoon to say he misses me... This is the guy whom i thought everything was good with. Who even borrowed me a CLK500 to drive for a month while my car was undergoing repairs. Who wanted to be with me everyday and it was up to me to decide not to see him sometimes so as to spend some alone time. I thought everything was okay until the day after i returned his car... I had just collected my car from the workshop so, i knew it was time to return it. Besides, the mercedes was expensive to maintain and i was spending all my pocket money on it... He called to say he was going to Surulere to see his friend and would call me when he gets back to Lekki. I said okay and would see him later, only for him to call me around 11pm to sayy he was spending the night there. I thought nothing of it and told him i would see him the next day. The next day, he didn't call me and all 4 of his phones were switched off which was very unusual for him so, i called his best friend aho then told me he was also trying to reach him. I was worried out of my mind so, i went to look for him. When i got there, he was home taking a shower... He acted a little off so, i apologised for visiting him without invitation and explained why i did that. He said it was okay but he had plans to go to Surulere... I said nothing, just looked at him until he decided he wouldn't go. We spent the night together in his house and slept like strangers. When he was leaving for work the next morning, he said he'd see me later and i never heard from him again until yesterday... He didn't know what to say except that he'd been thinking about and dreaming of me for the last 3days and he just wanted to tell me he misses me. Hmmmmmm.....
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Bee