A DEAR JOHN LETTER...

I have to do this in other to have a better life, health and relationship with my man. We’ve been together a really long time and it’s really hard to do this but it’s something i need to do. Yes, it’s been 13 whole years since we first met and we’ve had a very long relationship. You’ve been there through everything... Break-ups, heartbreak, loss, happiness, my mum’s death and everything else in between... You have been the first i reach for when i feel all the many emotions i’ve felt over time... You weren’t even introduced to me by any-one, i went out and found you myself. Many times i’ve tried to leave you but for some reason, i just couldn’t so, i stopped trying... Now, i’ve realised that the only way to let go of you completely is through drastic measures. What i have to do is leave you cold turkey and believe me when i say it’s not an easy decision... Where do i start? I have no idea but what i ought to do, i know... I’m been so hooked on you that i forgot what it was like to have a life without you in it. Really sad that i go out in freezing rain to find you, get banished from some places because of you and there are people who turn up their noses at me because of my relationship with you. It’s going to be a long hard road before i recover completely from you and i intend to find a replacement for you. A replacement you might not like but one that’ll be much better for me... I always figured i’ll let you go at some point but i never thought it’d be because someone asked me to. Someone who i wouldn’t like to lose because of you. If it comes down to choosing, i’ll choose him over you everytime. So, now i say... Though you have been with me a long time, it’s definitely time to let you go and pursue a healthier habit. Goodbye cigarettes, it was really nice knowing you...

Now that i’ve done this, i guess i now have to return to something i really liked doing but haven’t been able to do for a long time... Running... It was a bit difficult doing that after a while because i lose my breath quickly and have to stop. Seems like Mr Man got his way finally after all... I never thought i would do this for anyone and had always said it wasn’t possible. It was usual for me to leave a man because he wanted me to stop smoking and i didn’t want to stop but never had i thought about leaving cigarettes because a man asked me to. I guess people do change... Maybe this is my way of making up for the last 2days that i went psycho on him, who knows? However, it doesn’t matter if i’m doing it for him or not. Truth is, i should’ve stopped a long time ago and stopping at this time will be good for me. Better late than never...
I do hope that my relationship comes through unscathed because it’ll be really sad to have to leave him at the exact same time i stopped smoking... Really sad indeed and i hate sad.....
XXXX
Bee

PS: We managed to patch things up and i’m grateful for that...