SINGLE AGAIN!

What is so wrong with working? What is so wrong with being intelligent? What is so wrong with having an opinion? Most of all, what is so wrong with wanting your partner to treat you as an equal?


I've been missing from blogosphere for over four months... Don't know who missed me or who didn't. Since i don't really have a very likeable personality and i don't give a rat's ass, i'm going to go ahead and write. Maybe someone will read this, maybe not but i do know i'm writing again on my first lazy day in forever at the behest of my friend Mark.
The last four months have been completely crazy. Break-up, rebound, getting pregnant, miscarriage, new business venture (i tell you, starting a new business leaves you with a constant headache), lots of travel...
It seems like i've made a new home in asia pacific... It matters not that i can't stand the smell of Mumbai but a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do and it's even worse for a workaholic like me because you have to suck it up and get your project in the bag. There's a lot to say and i'll start with Chocolate.

The relationship was wonderful after my july trip to India and i was sailing in bliss until i hit mother earth. HARD!!! I guesss when you're in a relationship, you don't think too hard about un-protected sex until you land in hot water. There i was waiting for my period that refused to show so, i took myself to a lab, got tested and smiled when the result came out confirming what i already knew deep down. I was pregnant! Took a picture of the result and sent it to him via bbm. We already talked about what will happen if the result came out positive and we'd both agreed that i'll have to terminate. He was to come with me for the procedure to hold my hand but who am i kidding? I've never been someone who relied on anyone for nada. So, i made a split second decision when i saw the result. I took a cab (my car was at the mechanic's) and went to the clinic in surulere alone that evening to have it done after i'd called Chocolate to tell him what i wanted to do. Got there, had the procedure, woke up to find i couldn't stand without feeling woozy. Pushed myself to the brink and retched my guts out. That was when i realised i needed help getting home so, i called Chocolate. Being who he is, he left work and sped to surulere to meet me. Took me to eat because i was hungry and i started feeling slightly normal again. We talked and decided we will never let that happen again but how wrong we were. One month later and lady red refused to show up. I convinced myself that the abortion threw my cycle off and i wasn't pregnant and that was what i told him but my sister refused to listen to my theory. She kept telling me to take a test but i refused. When i mentioned to Chocolate that i hadn't had my period, he flipped and told me things i can't quite repeat even to myself. 3days later, he came to my exhibition to end things with me. I cried like i never had in my life... Even though i hated myself for doing it, i begged him but he'd made up his mind. Next day, i went for a test and the result came out positive again... I just broke down. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't work... The day after i took the test, i went to the bathroom and when i wiped off, i came away with blood. I was losing the pregnancy. Long story short, i bled for 10days after the evacuation and was depressed for weeks after. Then, he came back!
Fool that i am,i thought we could work things out and be together. How wrong i was... Didn't mention it to anyone and we had this whole secret affair thing going until i had to travel to get the figures i needed to help me kick start my new business idea. I called him as soon as i got to Mumbai so he could have my number but he never called back nor did he send a text. I didn't even worry too much about it because i was really busy visiting factories, getting a few metal samples made and all that. When it occured to me several days later that he hadn't been in touch at all, he wasn't taking my calls or replying any of my text messages, i called my brother and asked him to call Chocolate to find out why he wasn't taking my calls. My brother called me back to say i should call again. I called, he answered and told me he was no longer interested in getting back together with me. Something in me died and something else took over. At this time, i was out with E and a group of guys in her restuarant and one of them was really into me. I just hung up, grabbed the guy and kissed him and that was it! End of story.

Later on i found out the guy was 25 and in time, he started acting 19. My sister's boyfriend told me it was a huge mistake to have moved from Chocolate to someone else immediately but at the time it happened, i wasn't really thinking... Or was i?
Breaking up with my 25yr old lover proved more difficult than i anticipated. He'd cry, send me text messages threatening to do "something stupid" to himself if i left him. So, i made up my mind. Let him think we're still dating and just let things fizzle out in time...

Now, i'm single but taking my time to get back into the business of dating. I'm reasonably happy. Business looks good, my house looks like a home, i have a comfortable friendship with chocolate and christmas is coming...
It's amazing how things start to fall together if you just chillax and work hard. My hard work is paying off gradually and soon....

XXXX
Bee